BREAKUPBREAKER: You Moved On REALLY Fast
Oh hey. I’m a little stunned to see you, actually. It’s only been two weeks since we broke up and I guess I’m still reeling from it a little bit. I’m doing well, i guess, just working a lot and, uh, doing a lot of, you know, what’s that on your finger? NOT THAT FINGER, although that looks like soy sauce. YOUR RING FINGER! It’s a ring! A fucking ring! What? What the fuck? Please tell me that was the result of an expedition to the bottom of a cracker jack box and not a whirlwind jaunt down marathon romance street. I mean, I’m STILL moving stuff out of your place. Who the fuck are you engaged to? One of my movers??? OH sweet Jesus. I feel like I’ve been hit by the irony truck, backed over and flattened again. If you need me I’ll be spending half the time we were together trying to get over you. Enjoy getting married, and by that I mean, fuck everything.
WHY AM I NOT FRIENDS WITH THESE PEOPLE!?
